Of Greetings and Goodbyes
by ar-poe
Summary: It never lasted as long as Derek had hoped for, however, and tonight, Derek needed Spencer. He always needed Spencer.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Slash – an established Morgan/Reid relationship. There are possible trigger topics such as mental illness. Very slight spoilers for '_To Hell... And Back_.'

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Criminal Minds_.

**Of Greetings and Goodbyes**

It was going on midnight when Derek finally made it back to the apartment that he and Spencer shared. They had gotten back to Quantico about four hours ago from a rough case that took them to Detroit, Michigan and the borders of Canada, and Spencer had, as always, finished his paper work early and left for the night with promises to see Derek when he got home.

Spencer knew that sometimes, on cases that turned out as badly as this one had, that Derek liked to have some time to himself. It never lasted as long as Derek had hoped for, however, and tonight, Derek needed Spencer. He always needed Spencer.

Derek slipped his key into the apartment's door knob and turned it to the left and opened the door once he heard it unlock. He walked inside, closing the door behind him, and tossed his go-bag onto the floor as he took in his surroundings. A knot immediately formed in his gut. Something was wrong.

"Spencer?" Derek called quietly. He looked around the kitchen and the hallway that connected the entrance to the living room. All of the cabinets were opened as well as the refrigerator; the chairs from the kitchen table were askew, and the coffee pot and other small appliances were unplugged and rearranged. Derek needed to find Spencer, something wasn't right.

Derek crossed the kitchen in three short strides and closed the refrigerator and made his way down the hallway. Once he entered the living room, he found all of Spencer's books strewn about on the floor and all over the couch and recliner; DVDs and magazines were all over the place, pages bent and folded messily. The pillows and blankets were unfolded and balled back up on their given surfaces, and everything was just in complete disarray.

Immediately, Derek went into 'special agent mode' and reached for his holstered gun. He turned the corner from the living room and made his way through the empty bathroom, and on to Spencer's office, finding it more of a mess than it normally was. Maps and papers were torn down from their magnets on his white boards; papers and case files and books were thrown about the small room and over the black futon, and his laptop was teetering dangerously on the edge of the disorganized desk. But Spencer was still nowhere to be found.

Derek made his way back down the hallway and towards their bedroom, the only room left unsearched. He turned the corner and entered the doorway, gun held high as he entered, and spotted Spencer standing in front of the closet.

"Spencer!" Derek let out an exasperated sigh. "What the hell is goin' on, man..." Derek's voice trailed off as his eyes took in their bedroom. Lowering his gun, he stepped further into the room and placed it in the holster. The linens from the bed were torn off and the pillows were on the floor; clothes were ripped from their hangers and were on the floor as well, and dresser and nightstand drawers were hanging from their wooden tracks...

"Spence...?" Derek finally looked at Spencer who was standing with his back towards Derek, arms wrapped around himself, and intently looking at something on the floor. Derek slowly walked over to where he was standing, and stood in front of him, ducking his head to try to look Spencer in the eye. Spencer's long and curly hair was hanging in his face, and his eyes were huge, giving Spencer away and making him look absolutely terrified.

"What's going on, Spencer?" Something flashed behind Spencer's eyes and he lifted his head slightly to look at Derek, attempting to wrap his arms even tighter around himself.

"Talk to me, kid." Derek added, sounding more worried and agitated than he had previously.

"I keep hearing this... beeping... like an alarm..." Spencer answered quietly, his breath hitching in his throat, resulting in a sound that sounded almost like a sob.

Derek didn't say anything, he knew what this meant, and this was breaking his heart.

"There's no alarm, Spencer."

"I know... I..."

Derek could feel his own calmness fading as he watched Spencer - his lifeline. Spencer's voice betrayed him and he choked back a sob, lowering himself to the floor once he decided his legs could no longer support him. Derek sat down with him and watched as Spencer's eyes flickered rapidly around the room, showing his panic, and it was all Derek could do to suppress his own cries.

"I was walking back from the office..." Spencer drew his legs up to his chest and placed his chin on his knee. "I started hearing this beeping... it kept getting louder... I could hear it in the walls and... in my books..."

Derek tried his best to swallow and he looked into Spencer's eyes as he finished talking. He knew his eyes were mirroring the fear in Spencer's, and he had no idea what to do, he had absolutely no idea.

"Do you heart it now?"

Spencer started chewing on his bottom lip, his heart racing and pounding in his chest, and slowly shook his head. "It stopped when you called my name..."

Spencer couldn't contain it anymore, his face fell and he began to quietly cry and rocked forward to lay his head in Derek's lap. He curled himself up among the clothes he had thrown throughout the room and allowed Derek to smooth down his hair, and rub his back and arms. Derek closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to gather his own thoughts. He knew he couldn't break down now; he had to be strong for Spencer.

"We'll get through this." Derek whispered, continuously running his hands through Spencer's hair that he loved so much. "I'll take you to the doctor in the morning, and we'll stop and pick up some coffee and your Italian food, and we'll come back and watch _Star Trek_ -"

Spencer frantically shook his head in Derek's lap and gave a shuddering breath. "I can't. I don't want this..." The beeping had returned now, quiet and soft, almost as if it were taunting Spencer, and was now accompanied by a ticking emanating from the floor.

Spencer sat himself up, snapping his head in every direction and examining the floor, running his hands along the carpet as he tried to find the source of the ticking that he could feel pulsing in his skin...

Derek grabbed Spencer's face and held his head still, running his thumbs over Spencer's cheeks to sooth his nerves and his mind.

"Spencer. Look at me." Derek said sternly, trying his best to keep Spencer calm. "You need to settle down; you need to stay calm..." Spencer looked at him with the widest, most terrified eyes.

"Come on, babe. Let's get you to the couch so you can rest, okay?" Before Spencer even spoke, Derek stood up and scooped Spencer up in his arms and carried him into the living room, ignoring the voice in the back of his mind that said _on any other day, Spence would never let you do this_. He gently laid Spencer down on the couch and sat on the edge.

"You're gonna be okay, Spence." Derek gathered a blanket and covered him up and kissed his forehead. "Get some rest, baby." Spencer gave a deep frown and turned over on his side so that he was facing the back of the couch. Derek sighed and ran a hand over Spencer's back and arms, unsure of what else to do. He felt so helpless and scared; he had no idea what to do for Spencer...

Derek stood up and walked to the kitchen, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket on the way.

"Sorry to wake you, Hotch." Derek began when he heard the groggy voice of his boss. "But I needed to talk to you." He sighed and sat down at the small kitchen table when as he heard Hotch wake himself up and become more alert.

"Spence and I are going to have to take a couple days off. I need to take him to the doctor in the morning."

"What's going on, Morgan?"

"He's..." Derek shook his head and cleared his throat, blinking back tears. "He's not good, Hotch. I came home tonight to the place completely ransacked, and he said... He's hearing things, having hallucinations..." He closed his eyes and thought back to the previous days. Nothing had seemed unusual to Derek, nothing in Spencer's demeanor that would suggest that something was going on other than his exhaustion.

He thought back to that innocent smile that Spencer seemed to have reserved only for Derek, the way his thin but strong arms wrapped themselves around Derek's chest the previous night at the hotel, the way they always seemed to comfort each other...

Everything would be okay. Everything _had_ to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Here's the 'final installment' of Of Greetings and Goodbyes, but I've gotten a lot of feedback, so maybe I'll have a sequel... Not sure yet.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Criminal Minds_.

**Of Greetings and Goodbyes**

Derek was sitting next to Spencer in the waiting room of the rather large doctor's office, leaning back in his chair, trying his best to keep his leg from bouncing up and down, trying his best to keep his eyes from wandering and staying calm for Spencer.

Spencer, on the other hand, was sitting in his chair, arms wrapped around himself and picking and messing with his fingers. His eyes remained locked somewhere on the floor, and Derek had to stop and stare just to make sure that Spencer's chest was moving up and down as it should.

"Spencer Reid?" A nurse came through the heavy door and stood in the waiting room with a chart. Spencer didn't move, however, he just remained still in his chair, staring at the floor.

Derek placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Spence. The nurse..." Spencer looked up then and stood, remaining in his trance-like state, and waited for Derek to stand as well.

"I think it may be better if you had some privacy with the doctor." The nurse stated as she saw Derek stand.

"No. I need him with me. Please." Spencer answered quietly, following the nurse down the hall. Derek just followed, his hands deep in his pockets, and finally sat in the chair in Spencer's examination room while the nurse took his height, weight, and blood pressure.

Derek leaned forward in his chair while he waited for Spencer to return with the nurse, and laid his head in his hands with a deep, shuddering breath. He had read his fair share of articles and books on schizophrenia, he knew the symptoms. What he didn't know is what he would do if Spencer was taken away from him because of this, if he woke up one morning and Spencer didn't know who he was because of a delusion, or if he wouldn't be able to go back to the BAU because of his symptoms...

He gathered himself and made himself presentable when Spencer returned to the examination room with the nurse.

"Your doctor will be in shortly." She said, a small smile on her lips as she placed his folder in the plastic bin on the door and shut it.

Spencer sat himself on the tall table and placed his hands on both sides, staring at his shoes as he swung his feet, reverting back to some of his childish ways.

"Thanks for taking care of everything." Spencer whispered, keeping his head low between his slouched shoulders.

"No problem, baby."

Spencer slightly smiled to himself as he stopped his feet from swinging. "When I was little and my mother would take me to the doctor for my check-up, we'd always play I-Spy in the room while we waited." Derek smiled, too, happy to see the emotion expressed so clearly on Spencer's face.

"I love you, Spence."

Spencer looked up at Derek, part of his face masked by his hair. "I love you, too." And for a split second, he looked like he was about to break down and cry again, but before Derek could say anything, Spencer ducked his head back down.

Derek was left in his chair with his mouth hanging slightly opened when the door opened and an older woman walked in carrying Spencer's chart.

"Good morning, Doctor Reid. What can we do for you today?"

Spencer looked up to her and opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. At that very moment, every emotion that Spencer had ever felt in the last 27 years came rushing back and hitting Spencer full on. If he said this now, despite being questioned, it would make it real. All too real. He would become the brilliant genius with the IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory with schizophrenia...

"He was having... hallucinations last night. We were worried because his mother is a paranoid schizophrenic." Derek spoke up, eyes never leaving Spencer's hunched over form as the doctor nodded.

"Auditory hallucinations?" She asked, looking from Derek to Spencer, and sitting down on the leather stool in front of him. Spencer nodded and bit his bottom lip.

"It was a beeping... My mother's symptoms started with auditory hallucinations. Except she heard voices..."

"Have you been under a great deal of stress?"

Spencer gave a shy and nervous laugh. "I'm always under stress. I work for the FBI."

The doctor gave a small frown and an understanding laugh. "In that case, have you been under stress, more than usual? Extreme fatigue, a loss of interest in things you usually enjoy?"

Spencer looked back down to the floor and thought for a moment. "I'm not... really sure..." In all honesty, they all were like that from time to time. The job took it out of them, sometimes for days and weeks at a time, it wasn't abnormal for them to lose interest in things they enjoyed from time to time. Right?

"I've been really tired for a few days now. But we were on a case, none of us sleep well..."

The doctor nodded and jotted down that bit of information before turning to look at Derek for a moment. "What about any noticeable changes in routine or behavior? Anything out of the ordinary... Unusual absentmindedness, disorganized speech...?"

Derek's eyes flicked from the doctor to Spencer and back again. "Well, he's been... more antsy lately... Waking up in the middle of the night and pacing the apartment, mumbling things... His office is more of a scattered wreck than usual..."

Spencer looked at Derek then, looking slightly taken aback. "I pace the apartment?" Spencer asked in a small voice, transferring his gaze to the doctor and stared at her intently with a terrified look.

"You don't remember doing this, Spencer?" Spencer slowly shook his head when the doctor asked him this. How could he not remember acting this way? Pacing about the apartment in the middle of the night, talking to himself...

0-0-0

There was a quiet knock on the door a couple hours after Spencer and Derek returned home. Derek stood up from the kitchen table and answered the door, revealing Hotch and Rossi who wore polite and concerned smiles.

"Hey, guys." Morgan greeted tiredly, stepping aside to let the two men inside.

"How is he?" Hotch asked, making his way to the kitchen table and sitting down.

Derek sighed and lowered himself back into his own chair. "I don't know, to be honest. The doctor really had no way of knowing since his symptoms could be a bunch of different things, but she gave him a small dosage of anti-psychotic medicine to last a few days and a referral to a psychologist."

Derek wrapped his hands around his warm coffee mug and looked in the direction of their bedroom. "He's sleeping right now. He's been sleeping since we got back."

Hotch's usual hard eyes turned soft and almost endearing for a moment. "Tell him he needs to take a few weeks off, and you should probably stay here with him for a few weeks as well. Garcia said she'd be bringing food over."

Derek nodded and looked back to his coffee mug. "I don't know what to do, Hotch. I mean... when I told the doctor that he had been getting up in the middle of the night and pacin' and talkin' to himself... He had no memory of it..." Derek shook his head absently. "When I came home last night, he was standin' in the middle of all the clothes he tore down from the closet, the place was completely torn apart..."

"Maybe it's just the stress of the job getting to him, stress can be a leading cause in things like this." Rossi chipped in, trying to lighten the mood.

Derek nodded again. "Yeah, I suppose." Derek drew in a deep breath, gathering himself. "I was about to make dinner, you guys wanna stay?"

A round of polite cheers filled the kitchen and Derek got up to make another pot of coffee. A few minutes later, the smell of fresh brewed coffee brought Spencer out of the bedroom, walking towards the kitchen while half asleep.

Spencer stopped in the doorway, squinting at the light, when he saw Hotch and Rossi. He bit his bottom lip, trying to think of what to do or what to say and fighting back the urge to turn and run away. He didn't want everyone to know anything just yet, he didn't want the team to know. He just wanted to chalk this up to stress or a terrible nightmare that he'd soon wake up from...

"Reid." Hotch greeted, his face returning to the usual calm and stoic demeanor to remain strong and calm for the young agent.

Spencer offered an awkward wave and pursed his lips together, attempting to smile, and grabbed his mug from the counter to pour his coffee. Derek made his way around Spencer, pulling pots out of cabinets and gathering ingredients to make something quick for dinner.

Spencer sat down to the right of Hotch and began sipping his coffee, avoiding all eye contact.

"How're you feeling, Reid?"

"Tired." Spencer continued to sip his coffee. "A rare side effect of the prescription is drowsiness. I guess I'm one of the lucky few who experience it."

Hotch ignored Spencer's dry humor and took a sip of his own coffee. "I want you to take a few weeks off, Reid, get yourself together. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I can't do that. I need to work."

Hotch knew how stubborn Reid was, and he knew how he needed to work, his mind _needed_ it, and he was prepared for this argument.

"Spencer." Hotch made sure to use his first name. "As long as you're having hallucinations, you are not fit to work. Your job with the BAU will be secured and you can return to work as soon as we sit fit, but for now, you are to get yourself together. Understood?"

Spencer looked up at Hotch then with his eyes huge and sad, looking like he had just been slapped and slowly nodded. He lowered his hands into his lap and looked down at the table, unsure of what to do or say yet again.

Hotch softened his gaze then and looked to Rossi and then to Derek who had been watching the scene unfold as soon as Spencer had spoken. "We're a family, Reid, and families come first. Our main concern and top priority right now is for you to remain healthy. You are not in this alone, and you _will_ get through this."


End file.
